Doctor Feels Guilty for Having
Sex With A Patient
Doctor Jim had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
Reader Has Solution for Fallujah
(My friend Tom responded some time ago to the suggestion that we solve the insurgent problem in Fallujah by telling the population to leave and then leveling the city with a clean Nuke.)
Tom wrote: Actually, we don't have to nuke 'em, we can use fuel/air bombs. They have the same yield as the Hiroshima bomb but are conventional explosives.
Here's another little factoid. When the so-called 'Palestinians' decided that the takeover of Israel wasn't going so well they set their sights on Jordan. So, they plotted to murder the king and move in. The king got wind of this and laid siege to the offending Palestinian city. The city that was hosting the terrorists.
The Jordanian army shelled it for three days. Afterwards, they brought in bulldozers and literally flattened it. Somewhere between 20,000 and 40,000 Palestinians were killed. This happened while Bill Clinton was in office and it barely made the back pages of the big newspapers.
In listening to the right wing radio of late I heard one guy call in that claimed to be a middle eastern scholar. There is a joke in there somewhere but anyway, he said that an apology to an Arab is the same as self emasculation.
The Arab mind understands force. Not unlike a mule. You don't use a riding crop on a Mule, you use a two by four. Once you have the mule's attention it is much more pliable.
Buoyant regards,
Tom
It's Strange How Heroes Become Heroes
(The following is from Senor Beel in Minneapolis. He swears it is true and who am I to question his integrity.)
One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact." But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Norwegians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant
....and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Norske fire fighters.
The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "da furst thing vedo is fix da brakes on dat foocking truck!"
But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "Jim, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go.."
But invariably another voice would bring him back to reality, whispering.... "Jim you asshole, you're a veterinarian..."
We're Replacing Marriage With
Hooking Up, Marrying Later,
Divorcing More
Over all, Americans are spending much less time married. They marry later and divorce at high rates and remarry less and less. We are replacing marriage with hooking up. This is a deep structural problem and very worrying.
Edward Laumann of the University of Chicago and several other academics recently published a research project called "The Sexual Organization of the City." They've found that people construct highly evolved sexual market places, venues where they go to find sex partners.
These market places, at least in cities, are incredibly localized; people are not inclined to cross ethnic, racial, sociological or geographical boundaries when looking for a bed mate.
Each of these discrete marketplaces has its own rules, and the sex practices in one neighborhood may look nothing like those in the next. The authors of the study culled data from thousands of interviews in several Chicago neighborhoods and compared behavior across the communities. For example, one of the neighborhoods they studied is a struggling African-American community they call Southtown.
This area has seen its jobs disappear, its main commercial strip wither. There are more women than men. The men take advantage of their market power to become polygamous.
At any moment, almost 40 percent of the men are maintaining long-term relationships with at least two sexual partners. The more educated the man is, and presumably the more desirable he is to women, the more likely he is to be juggling multiple partners.
If men can have multiple partners, they have little incentive to limit themselves; marriage rates drop. Though they face a shortage of African-American men of equal status, Southtown's women tend not to look outside black neighborhoods.
A few miles away, there is a largely Hispanic neighborhood the academics call Westside. About half the people here are foreign-born, many from rural areas of Mexico. Mores here are traditional. Sixty-four percent of single men and 57 percent of single women say men should work and women should stay home to raise the kids.
While roughly two-thirds of the non-Hispanic men in Chicago reported ever having one-night stands, very few of the men in Westside did. Half of the men and three-quarters of the women believe it is wrong to have sex without love. People here are much more likely to meet future sexual partners in a family member's home, and much less likely to talk openly about sexually transmitted diseases.
Shoreland is an affluent white neighborhood on the near northwest side. There is a large gay and lesbian population, and sex is more likely to be impersonal. About43 percent of the gay men in Shoreland have had more than 60 partners.This neighborhood, too, has developed its own social institutions. A local softball league has become a place where lesbians can go to meet possible partners.
Though people here are better educated, their social lives are still tightly bounded. Over 75 percent of the gays and lesbians interviewed said that most or all of their friends are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Sexual market places are a rapidly expanding feature of society, and they are becoming more distinct from marriage marketplaces.
Furthermore, as the sex markets become bigger and more efficient, people have less incentive to get married.
As the scholars Yoosik Youm and Anthony Paik write, "Opportunities in the sex market act as constraints in the marriage market."
This article was excerpted from Sex and the Cities By David Brooks' in the May 1, 2004 NY Times.
Did News Anchor Take Her Panties Off?
Did E.D.Hill,the attractive blonde co-anchor on Fox & Friends News in the morning "Go Commando" one day a week to hike ratings?
This report was originally published in the Critical Curmudgeon Blog. It is being reprinted here by popular demand and in honor of E.D.'s return to the air this month after having her seventh child! Check her out. Can you believe she is the mother of seven?
Thirty-something readers will recognize the phrase Going Commando. Older readers may not. It means to go without panties. No underwear. No panty hose. Au naturale! Although I like to think I am up-to-speed on what the younger generation is doing, their music, favorite television shows, dress or undress, I had never heard of this term until an attractive 32-year-old muse explained it to me.
She said it was a common practice on some college campuses and some sororities were known for "going commando" to drive males wild and get dates. Since my muse has been out of college for a few years she doesn't know if this is still a part of the college culture. As a former professor I am sure that I would have found it quite distracting if any of my students came to class commando. But I digress.
A confidential source has shared some memos exchanged between Fox's ad agency and network brass revealing the pre-Iraq campaign to boost ratings of the news network. The ad agency and the network executives involved shall remain nameless. The first memo is the proposal from the agency that E.D. "Go commando" one day a week and that word of this would be leaked to Blogsters and selected mainstream media targets.
Memo from Ad Agency to Network Exec
Subject: Increasing Ratings of Fox News
This may seem like an off-the-wall idea but considering the high sexual content of many TV shows like Sex in The City and the increasingly open attitude about sex in general, we believe the following recommendation, a sort of subterranean campaign, could boost ratings significantly in a fun way without offending viewers.
We recommend that one day a week E.D. "Go commando" - not wear any panties - and that when she crosses and uncrosses her legs during the show she should do so more slowly than usual. Not obviously slower, but just a bit. We would leak the news to thousands of leading Weblog sites on the Internet and to selected male members of the mainstream media. We would make no overt promotion.
Did E.D.Hill,the attractive blonde co-anchor on Fox & Friends News in the morning "Go Commando" one day a week to hike ratings?
This report was originally published in the Critical Curmudgeon Blog. It is being reprinted here by popular demand and in honor of E.D.'s return to the air this month after having her seventh child! Check her out. Can you believe she is the mother of seven?
Thirty-something readers will recognize the phrase Going Commando. Older readers may not. It means to go without panties. No underwear. No panty hose. Au naturale! Although I like to think I am up-to-speed on what the younger generation is doing, their music, favorite television shows, dress or undress, I had never heard of this term until an attractive 32-year-old muse explained it to me.
She said it was a common practice on some college campuses and some sororities were known for "going commando" to drive males wild and get dates. Since my muse has been out of college for a few years she doesn't know if this is still a part of the college culture. As a former professor I am sure that I would have found it quite distracting if any of my students came to class commando. But I digress.
A confidential source has shared some memos exchanged between Fox's ad agency and network brass revealing the pre-Iraq campaign to boost ratings of the news network. The ad agency and the network executives involved shall remain nameless. The first memo is the proposal from the agency that E.D. "Go commando" one day a week and that word of this would be leaked to Blogsters and selected mainstream media targets.
Memo from Ad Agency to Network Exec
Subject: Increasing Ratings of Fox News
This may seem like an off-the-wall idea but considering the high sexual content of many TV shows like Sex in The City and the increasingly open attitude about sex in general, we believe the following recommendation, a sort of subterranean campaign, could boost ratings significantly in a fun way without offending viewers.
We recommend that one day a week E.D. "Go commando" - not wear any panties - and that when she crosses and uncrosses her legs during the show she should do so more slowly than usual. Not obviously slower, but just a bit. We would leak the news to thousands of leading Weblog sites on the Internet and to selected male members of the mainstream media. We would make no overt promotion.
We believe both men and women would be amused and interested in the campaign and would watch the show to see if they could detect the day E.D. leaves her panties off. Of course the predominant response would be from males of all ages including the demographics we have been targeting with our mainstream public relations campaign.
The fact that E.D. is "sandwiched" between two male co-anchors would heighten the sexual interest among male viewers who fantasize about sex with E.D and every other female newscaster. Look at the thousands of male viewers who wrote to CNN and complained vociferously when luscious, ruby-lipped, lovely breasted Lynn Russell was replaced by a 32 A cup. Although E.D. is no Lynn Russell, she does fill out a sweater quite nicely. Her looks attract men and do not offend women who like her no-nonsense on-air competency and how well she holds her own with her two male co-anchors. Many men like her competency too because E.D. does not come across as a "man-eater" but rather an equal.
Please let me know your reaction and if you want to discuss this idea further we can do so over lunch at a quiet table at the Harvard Club where we can talk freely and won't be overheard.
Signed by the Ad Agency Senior VP
Memo from Fox News Exec to Ad Agency Senior VP
Subject: E.D. Going Commando
I love the idea. That would even get me to watch the show. But the idea is rife with problems. First of all I don't think E.D. would go for it. But leaving that aside for the moment, I think you underestimate the load of crap we would get from women's' organizations who would call this a male chauvinist ploy to build ratings by exploiting women.
The fact that E.D. is "sandwiched" between two male co-anchors would heighten the sexual interest among male viewers who fantasize about sex with E.D and every other female newscaster. Look at the thousands of male viewers who wrote to CNN and complained vociferously when luscious, ruby-lipped, lovely breasted Lynn Russell was replaced by a 32 A cup. Although E.D. is no Lynn Russell, she does fill out a sweater quite nicely. Her looks attract men and do not offend women who like her no-nonsense on-air competency and how well she holds her own with her two male co-anchors. Many men like her competency too because E.D. does not come across as a "man-eater" but rather an equal.
Please let me know your reaction and if you want to discuss this idea further we can do so over lunch at a quiet table at the Harvard Club where we can talk freely and won't be overheard.
Signed by the Ad Agency Senior VP
Memo from Fox News Exec to Ad Agency Senior VP
Subject: E.D. Going Commando
I love the idea. That would even get me to watch the show. But the idea is rife with problems. First of all I don't think E.D. would go for it. But leaving that aside for the moment, I think you underestimate the load of crap we would get from women's' organizations who would call this a male chauvinist ploy to build ratings by exploiting women.
But we'll kick the idea around some more and I will "trial balloon" it with E.D. and her two co-anchors. In the meantime see if you can get me a better reading on the potential reaction of women in our demographic target and the organized women's groups.
Signed by Network News Exec
Follow up Memo from Fox News Exec to Ad Agency Senior VP
Subject: E.D. Going Commando
Surprise, surprise! E.D. knew what the term "going commando" meant. When I discussed the idea with her she burst out laughing and said, "Are those agency guys out of their fucking minds.?" Her language can get salty at times. But she was not upset and said she would be glad to tease the hell out of our male viewers.
Signed by Network News Exec
Follow up Memo from Fox News Exec to Ad Agency Senior VP
Subject: E.D. Going Commando
Surprise, surprise! E.D. knew what the term "going commando" meant. When I discussed the idea with her she burst out laughing and said, "Are those agency guys out of their fucking minds.?" Her language can get salty at times. But she was not upset and said she would be glad to tease the hell out of our male viewers.
"They won't be able to see anything and their imagination will make them think they did. I like the idea of guys sitting around trying to guess the day I will leave my panties off. I think it is funny as hell."
That's our E.D. and why we love her. She doesn't think this idea will bring out more journalism critics who already have the view that Fox News is not legitimate.
The brass likes the idea, too, but want to hear your report about the survey and focus groups you conducted with women.
Signed by Network VP
Memo from Ad Agency to Fox News Exec
Subject: E.D. Going Commando
Our focus groups and surveys show that organized women's groups will raise a stink but fortunately nobody listens to them any more including the media. They have bitched themselves into irrelevancy. Housewives and career women think it will be a fun campaign primarily because it will reveal the moronic attitude of men thinking with their penises and who will watch the show on the chance they might see some Beaver. Our informal surveys among men confirm what the women think. Every man we talked to said he would watch the show to see if E.D. flashed some Beaver.
Signed by Ad Agency Senior VP
Memo from Fox News Exec to Ad Agency Sr VP
Subject: E.D. Going Commando
It's a go! E.D. and the brass are all set. When do you want to kick off the campaign? E.D. has made only one request and that is that no one is to know the day she decides to Go Commando. That includes her co-anchors, crew, network execs, agency reps, etc. We think that adds to the interest and hype.
Signed by Network News Exec
Eight Weeks Later
Memo from Fox News Exec to Ad Agency Sr. VP
Subject: Results of the E.D. Goes Commando Campaign
We are thrilled with the results of our ratings increase and everyone at Fox News has had a lot of fun with the campaign including E.D. But we feel we should pull the plug on the campaign before we get any more heat from women's groups and religious leaders.
Because the campaign stayed underground we were able to avoid a great deal of criticism early on but it is beginning to increase. So spread the word that the campaign is over and E.D. will be wearing her Victoria Secret panties every day from now on unless of course she got used to the freedom and chooses to Go Commando on her own. The Network has no policy prohibiting this. Both men and women can come to work without their underwear so long as they practice good hygiene.
Thanks for a great campaign. The tag line you guys came up with got a lot of recognition and great reaction from our male viewers who got the inside joke: Fox News, Fair, Balanced, Natural Journalism. Adding Natural to the tag line was inspirational. It is this kind of creativity that we have come to expect from you guys at _______________. We're looking forward to more good "outside-the-envelope" ideas to boost ratings of Fox News.
Let's have lunch next week, on me!
Signed by Fox News Exec
A Startingly Surprise Ending
The brass likes the idea, too, but want to hear your report about the survey and focus groups you conducted with women.
Signed by Network VP
Memo from Ad Agency to Fox News Exec
Subject: E.D. Going Commando
Our focus groups and surveys show that organized women's groups will raise a stink but fortunately nobody listens to them any more including the media. They have bitched themselves into irrelevancy. Housewives and career women think it will be a fun campaign primarily because it will reveal the moronic attitude of men thinking with their penises and who will watch the show on the chance they might see some Beaver. Our informal surveys among men confirm what the women think. Every man we talked to said he would watch the show to see if E.D. flashed some Beaver.
Signed by Ad Agency Senior VP
Memo from Fox News Exec to Ad Agency Sr VP
Subject: E.D. Going Commando
It's a go! E.D. and the brass are all set. When do you want to kick off the campaign? E.D. has made only one request and that is that no one is to know the day she decides to Go Commando. That includes her co-anchors, crew, network execs, agency reps, etc. We think that adds to the interest and hype.
Signed by Network News Exec
Eight Weeks Later
Memo from Fox News Exec to Ad Agency Sr. VP
Subject: Results of the E.D. Goes Commando Campaign
We are thrilled with the results of our ratings increase and everyone at Fox News has had a lot of fun with the campaign including E.D. But we feel we should pull the plug on the campaign before we get any more heat from women's groups and religious leaders.
Because the campaign stayed underground we were able to avoid a great deal of criticism early on but it is beginning to increase. So spread the word that the campaign is over and E.D. will be wearing her Victoria Secret panties every day from now on unless of course she got used to the freedom and chooses to Go Commando on her own. The Network has no policy prohibiting this. Both men and women can come to work without their underwear so long as they practice good hygiene.
Thanks for a great campaign. The tag line you guys came up with got a lot of recognition and great reaction from our male viewers who got the inside joke: Fox News, Fair, Balanced, Natural Journalism. Adding Natural to the tag line was inspirational. It is this kind of creativity that we have come to expect from you guys at _______________. We're looking forward to more good "outside-the-envelope" ideas to boost ratings of Fox News.
Let's have lunch next week, on me!
Signed by Fox News Exec
A Startingly Surprise Ending
What Critical Curmudgeon Learned
About The Campaign
During the campaign we learned that E.D.'s co-anchors annoyed her several times by trying to get a glimpse of her Beaver when she crossed her legs. One of them positioned her laptop computer at a slight angle to try and see her Beaver reflected in the screen of the lap top. She thwarted that by putting on the "Pipes" screen saver. But they still tried. The camera crew and other guys on the set were quite obvious in trying to catch a glimpse of E.D.'s Beaver.
Businessmen at lunch were heard discussing the show and trying to guess the days when E.D. would leave her panties off. Most male viewers did not refer to it as Going Commando. They seemed to enjoy saying, "When E.D. leaves her panties off." Guess it heightened their sexual interest. Some preferred to call it E.D. Flashing Her Beaver.
During the campaign we learned that E.D.'s co-anchors annoyed her several times by trying to get a glimpse of her Beaver when she crossed her legs. One of them positioned her laptop computer at a slight angle to try and see her Beaver reflected in the screen of the lap top. She thwarted that by putting on the "Pipes" screen saver. But they still tried. The camera crew and other guys on the set were quite obvious in trying to catch a glimpse of E.D.'s Beaver.
Businessmen at lunch were heard discussing the show and trying to guess the days when E.D. would leave her panties off. Most male viewers did not refer to it as Going Commando. They seemed to enjoy saying, "When E.D. leaves her panties off." Guess it heightened their sexual interest. Some preferred to call it E.D. Flashing Her Beaver.
The Sharon Stone movie in which she went commando and later tried to tell the world she didn't know it was going to be in the final edit of the movie was mentioned often by male viewers.
But the mortal blow to the male sexual ego was delivered by E.D. herself who released a statement about the subrosa campaign and revealed that she had revealed - absolutely nothing.
"For all of you men out there who were trying to see me do my impersonation of Sharon Stone, I never left my panties off. I never went Commando. Do you have any idea of the temperature in the studio? Even with the hot lights it is freezing in there and very drafty.
"The network says they have no policy requiring employees to wear underwear to work but I will continue to wear my choice from Victoria's Secret. Eat your hearts out guys. Now don't you feel silly?
"I especially want to single out my two co-anchors, the cameramen and members of the crew on the set for revealing which head they think with. They did everything possible to check me out. So now guys you can quit pretending those low camera angles were an accident."
Bravo E.D.! You get the last laugh and it is well deserved. But please don't move behind a desk, don't abandon those lovely sweaters, and don't wear slacks too often. Gosh, how I miss Lynn Russell! She and Jane Russell have a lot in common.
No 'A' For Fellatio - A Professor's Dilemma
(A former colleague of mine at the University of Bridgeport called recently to tell me that things have not changed on campus. If anything some students are more brazen than ever about propositioning faculty members to get a good grade. I sent him the following article which was printed originally in my Critical Curmudgeon Blog. I didn't ask him if he had fallen from grace.)
The percentage of time I spend thinking about sex has steadily dropped over the decades and it is now down to .03% - considerably lower than the 99% of my youth. Well, at least that is what I told my curious and overly aggressive female students at the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut where I taught for several years including the lovely female student who offered fellatio for an A.
But the mortal blow to the male sexual ego was delivered by E.D. herself who released a statement about the subrosa campaign and revealed that she had revealed - absolutely nothing.
"For all of you men out there who were trying to see me do my impersonation of Sharon Stone, I never left my panties off. I never went Commando. Do you have any idea of the temperature in the studio? Even with the hot lights it is freezing in there and very drafty.
"The network says they have no policy requiring employees to wear underwear to work but I will continue to wear my choice from Victoria's Secret. Eat your hearts out guys. Now don't you feel silly?
"I especially want to single out my two co-anchors, the cameramen and members of the crew on the set for revealing which head they think with. They did everything possible to check me out. So now guys you can quit pretending those low camera angles were an accident."
Bravo E.D.! You get the last laugh and it is well deserved. But please don't move behind a desk, don't abandon those lovely sweaters, and don't wear slacks too often. Gosh, how I miss Lynn Russell! She and Jane Russell have a lot in common.
No 'A' For Fellatio - A Professor's Dilemma
(A former colleague of mine at the University of Bridgeport called recently to tell me that things have not changed on campus. If anything some students are more brazen than ever about propositioning faculty members to get a good grade. I sent him the following article which was printed originally in my Critical Curmudgeon Blog. I didn't ask him if he had fallen from grace.)
The percentage of time I spend thinking about sex has steadily dropped over the decades and it is now down to .03% - considerably lower than the 99% of my youth. Well, at least that is what I told my curious and overly aggressive female students at the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut where I taught for several years including the lovely female student who offered fellatio for an A.
When I first wrote about this a number of readers wrote in and wanted to know if I had accepted her offer. I never responded but for the first time here I am confessing. A large majority of the writers assumed that, "it was an offer I could not refuse."
I did not, repeat, did not accept her offer. I did not reject her offer on moral or ethical grounds or because I dislike being fellated, I rejected it because I was living with a 22-year old senior who was one of her class mates and if I had accepted, my significant young friend would have slapped the crap out of her classmate and no telling what she would have done to me. We men are so vulnerable and I didn't want to end up like the male preying mantis whose first sexual encounter is his last or the guy whose penis was...
Besides if I had accepted the offer it would have set a low base price for any future negotiations with other students. That would be poor marketing. But all that was more than several years ago and I still smile when I recall the excited phone call I got from the lovely young thing with whom I lived happily for two years.
She called to tell me that she had won a prize on a radio contest for being in a May-December or is it December-May romance with someone who was 25 years older than she was. The prize went to the couple with the greatest difference in their ages. I was thrilled for her too and was adequately rewarded later.
I did not, repeat, did not accept her offer. I did not reject her offer on moral or ethical grounds or because I dislike being fellated, I rejected it because I was living with a 22-year old senior who was one of her class mates and if I had accepted, my significant young friend would have slapped the crap out of her classmate and no telling what she would have done to me. We men are so vulnerable and I didn't want to end up like the male preying mantis whose first sexual encounter is his last or the guy whose penis was...
Besides if I had accepted the offer it would have set a low base price for any future negotiations with other students. That would be poor marketing. But all that was more than several years ago and I still smile when I recall the excited phone call I got from the lovely young thing with whom I lived happily for two years.
She called to tell me that she had won a prize on a radio contest for being in a May-December or is it December-May romance with someone who was 25 years older than she was. The prize went to the couple with the greatest difference in their ages. I was thrilled for her too and was adequately rewarded later.
Reader Has Solution for Fallujah
(My friend Tom responded some time ago to the suggestion that we solve the insurgent problem in Fallujah by telling the population to leave and then leveling the city with a clean Nuke.)
Tom wrote: Actually, we don't have to nuke 'em, we can use fuel/air bombs. They have the same yield as the Hiroshima bomb but are conventional explosives.
Here's another little factoid. When the so-called 'Palestinians' decided that the takeover of Israel wasn't going so well they set their sights on Jordan. So, they plotted to murder the king and move in. The king got wind of this and laid siege to the offending Palestinian city. The city that was hosting the terrorists.
The Jordanian army shelled it for three days. Afterwards, they brought in bulldozers and literally flattened it. Somewhere between 20,000 and 40,000 Palestinians were killed. This happened while Bill Clinton was in office and it barely made the back pages of the big newspapers.
In listening to the right wing radio of late I heard one guy call in that claimed to be a middle eastern scholar. There is a joke in there somewhere but anyway, he said that an apology to an Arab is the same as self emasculation.
The Arab mind understands force. Not unlike a mule. You don't use a riding crop on a Mule, you use a two by four. Once you have the mule's attention it is much more pliable.
Buoyant regards,
Tom
It's Strange How Heroes Become Heroes
(The following is from Senor Beel in Minneapolis. He swears it is true and who am I to question his integrity.)
One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact." But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Norwegians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant
....and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Norske fire fighters.
The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "da furst thing vedo is fix da brakes on dat foocking truck!"
posted by Antonio @ 2:54 AM
